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Sharing with you my existential concerns and tips to overcome them

What is new this week?

… we are now on social media!

I have finally confronted my fear (very on topic, I know) of having a social media presence and show my face to the world.

I want to create and provide useful resources for you, so please I would appreciate if you could follow our accounts.

👇👇👇

@join.evermore

These questions will change how you see life Share your answers in the comments 👇👇 #quotes #conversationstarters #conversations #deepthoug... See more

I am also super open to receive any sort of feedback or content suggestions!

Anyway… let’s begin!

In a world surrounded by uncertainty, humans have always been trying to gain some control in certain scenarios. Some of us make strategic choices, thinking it will lead us to a more predictable outcome.

We try to make decisions based on data, for example the best rated restaurant in your area, we also like to rely on our gut feeling.

Our credit cards come with mobile apps, statements and even expenditure notifications to keep us on track.

My point is, we like to be in control majority of times. Maybe is more like: we like to ‘feel’ in control.

However, the one thing we cannot control is death, for example like choosing or knowing the day and way we will die (except for planned things that we won’t be discussing today).

So what happens with this?

Most of the times, it brings us existential concerns and death anxiety often take centre stage in our minds. Questions arise such as:

  • What am I in this world for?

  • What is my mission?

  • Will I see the people I love again?

  • Have I done everything I need to do?

  • What do I really want to be doing?

  • What is the meaning of life?

    and so on…

The quest for resilience becomes paramount, as we seek practical approaches to not only cope with these existential challenges but to thrive in spite of them.

I am not going to lie, even thinking about kids as a way of me getting to see (hopefully) a bit of my parents in them, together with a mix of me and my partner (again, hopefully) brings me a warm, comforting feeling. I guess in a way, offspring does mean immortality. No wonder people write books, build statues, make documentaries and so on…

It has really taken me years to be comfortable with the fact that I am going to die and that all the people I love and care about will die too.

It feels somehow surreal that such events can happen. At times, it makes me feel quite vulnerable and insignificant in this world, not in a bad and depressive way though. It is more of a humbling experience, an experience that makes me think I have to create my own reality and coping mechanisms to deal with such normal, yet potentially terrifying aspects. Perhaps they are terrifying because we just don’t know what really happens and the build up to it, the uncertainty also adds to these ongoing thoughts. Regardless, even if we think we will miss our loved ones dearly when we die, probabilities and science tells us that once this happens, we will no longer care. If you think about it, we really didn’t even have a clue what was going on before we were born.

So how do we cope with death anxiety? Yes, this is a thing!

1. Seek therapeutic interventions for inner exploration:

Engaging in therapeutic interventions, such as psychotherapy or counseling, provides a structured space for you to explore and understand your existential concerns.

🎙️I personally have therapy every week. Do I think I need it every week? Not really, but it gives me a lot of self-reflection space in a safe environment.

2. Get familiar with the topic

The more I read about death and dying, the more it is ‘normalised’ for me. I mean, we all know it is natural, I know. However, one thing is knowing, one thing is accepting. The more I read about it, the more I understand I am such a small little part of this planet and I want to make the most of it, for as long as it’s healthily possible.

📚The Tibetan book of living and dying is great, you can find it here.

3. Practice meaningful rituals:

Rituals, whether spiritual, religious or personal, contribute to a sense of meaning and continuity. These rituals provide a sense of control and familiarity in the face of existential uncertainties, acting as grounding elements that contribute to resilience.

💡 What is your ritual?

4. Practice mindfulness (I know, this one is used a lot, but it works!):

Mindfulness serves as a powerful tool to anchor oneself in the present moment, alleviating anxiety stemming from existential concerns. Practices such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, and mindful awareness enable you to cultivate a heightened sense of self-awareness and acceptance.

🧘‍♂️ Some people do yoga, I do breathing exercises every morning (and cold showers majority of times!)

Hope you find this helpful!

Speak soon,

Fernanda

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