• Evermore
  • Posts
  • My wishes, your wishes and planning ahead

My wishes, your wishes and planning ahead

@rejuless

Contemplating mortality can seem to be a very individualistic process we try to ignore. We tend to get worried about the implications this will have on us (selfishly) due to its unpredictability and lack of awareness of the noticeable changes in our bodies when we are near the end.

When looking at it this way, it can feel as a deeply personal and private matter, but it is not the case. In the end, once we are gone, the ones who remain are the ones who will struggle with grief and all the legal implications that a death brings.

If we look at death with the lens of a ‘ripple’ effect that not only impact us, it might get easier to plan ahead. Regardless of your age, condition or health situation.

Why?

Simply because I would hope you would want to make your loved ones life a little less painful once you are not here. There are many ways to do this. but today I would like to talk about something that may sound dark and sad but you could make it a meaningful and beautiful ritual. Your funeral.

Let’s think about your wishes

Today I am not planning to deep dive into all of what it needs to be done, but I would like you to think of some question prompts and reflect on what you would like to.

  • Would you like to be buried or cremated?

  • If so, where would you like to be buried? or where would you like your family to keep your ashes? Consider you could also give them the choice to decide what is best for them. Ask questions such as: Would you like to visit me? If so,where would you like to go? Or would you prefer something you could always carry with you (i.e. a diamond!)?

  • What would you like to be dressed in? Do you have something in mind? - For example, my dad did not give us an instruction on that but it was quite a comforting surprise to dress him with the tuxedo he used on his wedding day with my mum.

  • Would you like a funeral? What type of funeral would you like? Think about any religious or non-religious rituals or beliefs you may have and would like to incorporate.

  • If you want a funeral, what is the vibe you are after? Would you like to have music and drinks? or would you prefer it to be quiet? This is also a good opportunity for you to ask your loved ones what would they feel comfortable with.

  • Would you like someone to give some words? Who would you want it to be? Will the be willing to do so?

  • Would you like someone to read something you wrote or chose in advance, for example, a poem? Funny story, on my dad;s funeral, the funeral director read a beautiful poem and I was so touched thinking my dad chose it for us. It turns out it was a poem they read in all of the funerals…lol. Safe to say that although there were beautiful words, as soon as I realised it was not chosen by my dad, it lost a bit of meaning for me.

  • Would you like to have a memorial?

  • When would you like your funeral to be? For example some religions need to be buried within 24 hours.

A bit about my wishes…

  • I would like my funeral to be a celebration of my life, with pictures of me that I have chosen but also people who attend the funeral can chose some too for display.

  • I acknowledge there will be some sadness but I will still appreciate some lively music, nice food and drinks (as far as no one gets too drunk)! Don’t worry, I will pay for this haha

  • I would not want anything religious but I will definetly want some meaninigufl words from me and from my loved ones. I want it to be a heartwarming experience for them.

  • I want my loved ones to get with the funeral and cremation over and done within 48h just as they do in Mexico…need to find out how to do this in the UK!

There are still some other things I need to figure out but wanted to share a bit of my thinking with you.

See you next week!

Join the conversation

or to participate.