Vodka-induced reflections on death acceptance from the sky

Today is my dad’s birthday, today he would have been 80. I know some of you may think ‘Oh! He was old, he lived a good life’ I wish it was that simple. I wish the thought of someone who died who lived a long or fulfilling life was enough to help us accept death. The truth is that once he’s gone, once someone you love dies, it stops being about them and it’s now about you.

The ones who stay are the ones who have to deal with all the emotions, the good and the bad ones. We start to feel sorry and sad for ourselves. For the things we could have done and the things we won’t do anymore. How could we alleviate this? This is something we all have to go through, whether we like it or not, it is coming, but there must be a way to think of it in a less negative way.

I surely have my fair opinion on what it could be done about it. First of all, we have to keep talking about this. Death is normal, death is natural, we will all die.

Whilst I am here, writing from the plane, in the sky, having a vodka tonic like he used to, I started thinking about ways of remembering the ones who are no longer here. I feel is a good little ritual to celebrate on his behalf. Knowing my dad, he would have thrown a big party today, 80 is a milestone worth celebrating. What I don’t know is if how he would have liked me to remember him! Why didn’t we talk about this?

Each of us have something special we share with the ones who die. I love breakfast because that is what my dad and I used to do together. Every weekend we will go and have father and daughter time whilst enjoying a nice piece of Mexican bread and coffee.

The times I was not in Mexico, he will call me saying ‘I read in the newspaper about Artificial Intelligence, you should learn more about it, it is the next big thing’ and I will be like: ‘Yes dad, I actually do a lot of work in that space’. He probably told me that 5-6 times, but each time I pretended I heard it for the very first time. There was something nice and comforting about hearing over and over again how much he was interested on my personal development. I miss that.

Today I have come to you with more memories and questions rather than insights and answers. When we are about to lose someone or have lost someone, we are often surrounded by questions, but we struggle to look for the answers. It requires understanding and self-reflection and this is tough to grasp due to the circumstances we find ourselves in.

Reflections of the week:

You don't need to conquer the fear but learning to accept it can help us live our best lives and put things into perspective! Yea…it doesn’t really matter that you missed that train or that someone at work wrote a rude email to you!

Be present and consciously build memories with your loved ones - Think about the little moments that you will remember in the future about that special person. In my case, a vodka on a plane helped me celebrate and remember my dad on his birthday. How would you want others to remember you?

In Mexico (my country) we have a beautiful tradition called ‘Day of the Dead’. On this day, we consciously remember and celebrate those who have gone. We put an altar with food they liked, photos and objects that represent them or used to belong to them. It is a joyful celebration rather than mourning one. How beautiful would it be if all of us could really practice the essence of this ritual.

That’s it for today! Thank you for reading.

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